I'd love to be free. Just not today.

My house is only just finished. And honestly, I built it so expensively that I would not get my money back if I sold it. So for now I stay where I am. Financially, later would be more sensible anyway. These sentences are not from a book. They are mine.

Freedom is what most of us are after. More time, less having to, the feeling that our life belongs to us again. It just never quite fits right now.

And the strange thing is that my reasons are all true. The thing with the house is real. The numbers are real. These are not lazy excuses. They are real reasons, important ones even.

Maybe they are good reasons. And still the excuses for why I am not free yet.

Both are true

For a long time I thought I had to choose. Either a good reason or an excuse. By now I think it is often both at once. The reason is real, and it still does the work of an excuse. It makes sure I do not have to change anything today. An expensive house is almost perfect for that. Nobody would argue if I say I cannot do it right now.

What I no longer let slide

I do not want to talk my reasons down. The house is there, the numbers are there, and some decisions are fine to postpone. But I try to look more honestly. Where does a reason actually protect me, and where does it only protect me from starting.

I do not have an answer. I just notice that the right moment rarely arrives on its own. It probably does not exist at all, only the decision to start anyway at some point.